I’ve never pursued a diagnosis for Seasonal Affective Disorder, but there’s no doubt in my mind that I suffer from it.
I’m not just a bit miffed that it’s rainy. I genuinely struggle to make it through winter. I experience a massive high at Christmas and then a huge comedown afterwards, that lasts months instead of days.
I’m miserable and irritable – I can’t convince myself to eat anything other than carbs, I can’t motivate myself to go out and do things. I find myself saying, “oh no, it’s far too late to go there/do that”, then look down at my watch to find that it’s only 4.30pm. And I’m exhausted. Absolutely exhausted.
But the difference in me when the spring comes. It’s like Dr Jekyll and Mrs Hyde. Sunshine, flowers, colours, smells – it makes me genuinely happy (the pure form of which I often struggle to experience).
All of a sudden I feel better about making plans, going on adventures, being healthier. My mood drastically improves and despite definitely NOT being a morning person, I feel ever so slightly better about having to leave my bed in the morning.
So today I embraced spring. We went to the park, played, laughed, collected sticks. And seeing the joyous response from my little boys just makes me want spring to last forever.