COVID-19 and children’s mental health

A new YouGov survey for international children’s charity World Vision shines a light on how the nations children are already struggling

I’ve been trying to avoid too much discussion around the dreaded C word here on My Anxious Life, but unfortunately it’s time to face facts – Covid19 isn’t going anywhere soon and, even when it eventually declines or we have a vaccine, its impact is going to be felt globally for years. This is always going to be a part of our narrative now so, like an unwanted dinner guest, we have to try and accept it, and figure out how to deal with it.

There are so many ways that this virus has impacted us, and essentially changed the very structure of our lives, but as a Mother, the lives of my – of our – children, are always at the forefront of my anxiety. Most of us are doing our best – we have Joe Wicks PE sessions on the go, we’re tuning in to live feeds form the zoo, downloading educational apps and most likely throwing extra treats in the kids’ directions. But their lives have still drastically changed: no school, no friends, parties cancelled, no trips, no grandparent cuddles, and no amount of living room forts or picnics in the garden can fix that.

And already, after only weeks, our children are struggling. A new YouGov survey has found that one in three UK children between five and 18 years old (36%) have told parents that they’re lonely since the government shut schools. As a parent, that is tough to hear, and it’s devastating to feel so powerless, to not be able to protect them.

The survey also found that almost a third of parents (32%) of five to 18 year olds have noticed negative changes in their children’s behaviour since lockdown. They include behaviours such as tantrums, meltdowns, nightmares, stomach aches, fighting and crying. I’m sure this resonates with all of you, because I know it certainly does with me. My children have been bickering so much more with each other, and my 5 year old has been extremely emotional, unable to understand and explain his feelings. We’ve had outbursts we’ve rarely seen before, and he often complains of being tired throughout the day.

And scarily, over one in five (22%) children are concerned a family member or close friend could die from catching coronavirus. This is just not the kind of weight a child should have to carry on their small shoulders.

The poll of parents, for international children’s charity World Vision, shows that younger children are more likely to worry about catching coronavirus, and are also the most likely to tell parents they’re lonely and missing friends and family. Children 5-11 years old are more likely than older children to become clingy, cry and have tantrums and disturbed sleep, whereas children over 12 years old are more likely to become withdrawn.

World Vision Global Advocacy Leader Daniela Buzducea says: “Our survey opens a worrying window on children’s emotional turmoil at this bleak time. It shows how the global pandemic is taking a toll on children’s mental wellbeing – leaving them frightened, insecure and isolated.

“Children experience a crisis like this differently to adults. They pick up on anxiety around them and get destabilised by dramatic changes in their daily routines and strict restrictions on their movements. Their emotions become disturbed and confused. Many begin to act out their tension through challenging behaviour or withdraw into their shells.”

The survey found that girls tend to show their distress at the coronavirus upheaval in a different way to boys. Girls are more likely to become more easily upset and complain of ailments like stomach aches and headaches, whereas boys are more likely to become fidgety and fight more.

As an adult with mental health issues, this genuinely terrifies me, as so many anxieties and neuroses are adopted in childhood and as Daniela rightly says, “the impact of a crisis like this on children’s emotional wellbeing is easily overlooked, but it should never be underestimated. Children can suffer acute anxiety when their lives are turned upside down. Coronavirus disruption is unsettling even for children of preschool age.”

 So what can we do? Daniela goes on to explain that “parents can give their children emotional support, reduce their stress levels, and help them feel safe and secure. It is important that parents find out what their children have heard and listen to their concerns. They should talk calmly and explain what is happening in a way appropriate to their children’s level of understanding. It may be easier for young children to draw a picture rather than talk about something scary. Offer them crayons and paper so they can do this.”

Personally, initially I struggled to find the balance between honesty and feeling the need to protect my children, but I’ve come to realise that giving them age-appropriate information and doing your best to answer basic questions really does help. Extra cuddles, downtime and Disney+ doesn’t hurt either!

We’re all struggling to get used to a new way of life but, as adults, it’s our responsibility to remember that it’s not just us that might be struggling.

World Vision has decades of experience helping children cope with disasters and emergencies across the world, so if you’d like some brilliant tips for parents on how to talk to children about coronavirus, visit https://www.worldvision.org.uk/news-and-views/blog/2020-blogs/march/coronavirus-how-talk-kids-about-crises/